Chapter 24: How to Ask a Female Friend out on a Date

So you have a female friend who you see as more than a friend, huh? Here's how to ask her out on a date without ruining your friendship, or your ego.


Steps:

1. Look for signals that she likes you, rather than perceiving you as more of a brotherly figure. Learn to read her body language. Does she flirt with you? But does she flirt with everybody? Is she interested in another guy?
2. Wait for the right moment. It should be when you two are alone and feel comfortable and relaxed. You can slip it into a conversation casually, but make it clear that it'd be just the two of you. Suggest playfully that you can be her date for the night and show her how a real man treats a woman.
3. Ask her out! Whether you propose a trip to the movies or offer to cook her dinner, be prepared for the fact that she's probably too nice to say no, but might misinterpret your question as just a friendly gesture. Again, make it clear that this is a date.
4. When the night is over be sure not to invite yourself in. Let her ask you. And when you are inside (If you are inside) don't pressure her right into the bedroom. If she's interested in letting you in chances are she is interested in that as well. So let her take you in, not the other way around. Remember you are friends and you would like to still be friends after the night is over!
5. See what music she's into! Find out who her celebrity crush is; she might have a crush on Nick Jonas or David Archuleta! Find out how to be like them (but not too much, just see what you can make happen). She might enjoy hanging around someone who acts like her dream date. If you go overboard then she might think you are trying to be just like them and she'll find that stalkerish and creepy. Make her a CD of her favorite singer. She would love to have a CD made from one of her friends!

Tips:

• If you must call her, and usually see her during the day, say something like "I wanted to ask you earlier but I didn't see you all day.". Make sure you actually didn't see her much that day.
• Too many people get caught up in doing it the "right" way, that they just end up looking stupid. Just relax. You know it's going to be awkward. She knows it's going to be awkward. So the best thing to do is just do it. Forget about looking stupid and try to have fun.
• Just ask straight out, and don't act embarrassed about it.
• Ask her alone. She may feel uncomfortable and embarrassed if her friends are around. That may cause her just to say no, no matter how she feels.
• Study dates are less uncomfortable and a good excuse. Especially if she has been dropping hints about failing a subject or just having troubles.
• Don't wear strange clothing or funny hats. Just because it's a date, it doesn't mean you have to wear a suit. If you are going to a sort-of fancy restaurant, you can wear jeans with clean, nice, sneakers and a polo or buttoned-shirt. If you are going to a movie or a diner for your date, you can wear the first two items with a nice t-shirt. Don't dress too casual though and wear your exercising shoes or torn-up jeans (torn-up jeans just make you look sloppy) with a jersey from your favorite team. Jerseys for dates are very simple. You can wear your favorite team cap though, but don't wear any hats that you would for crazy hat day at school (such as colorful top hats with springs and dolls hanging). Just dress nice, and you'll feel just fine. She may feel too embarrassed to be named "The Girl Who Dates The Weird Kid" even if your personality rocks.
• Take it slow. You don't want to ask her out after knowing her for 3 days. Love at first sight doesn't always work both ways, you know.
• Then again, don't take it too slow. If she says she likes you, and you told her you like her, then ask her out! Don't wait 2 months because that can be a huge turn off. It shows her that you are not confident enough to talk to a girl. Come on, that is so 3rd grade.
• Show her that you are interested in her. Pay more attention to her than to her friends. Girls can get pretty jealous sometimes. Where did you think the phrase "Cat fight" came from? Those girls had to be fighting over something, right?
• Be well groomed, and clean. Smell pleasant but not overly scented. That is a huge turn off for most girls.
• Have fun. If you are just talking or playing a game, at least look like you're having fun. Most likely she will be too worried to see if you are enjoying yourself to have any fun herself. So if you are, she will be relieved and when it comes to asking her out, she will know that you are sincere and not joking.
• Compliment her on her laugh, smile, looks, or something like that. But do not do this if it is not true. Make sure you really do like that something before you say so.
• Asking her out over email is considerate to her because it gives her time to think before responding, and at the same time it may not be the best for you because it makes it easy for her to say no.
• Even if she says no, the fact that you asked may get her thinking about the romantic possibilities.
• Don't say "I haven't done this before, but would you like to go on a date with me". It's a relationship breaker!

Warnings:

• Never lead her on. Tactfully tell her right away if you find you are no longer interested in her. If you do lead her on, girls are pretty good about guessing. It will not go smoothly between you two if she does find out that you were leading her on. And most chances are that she will.
• Be prepared for rejection. It happens to everyone. It will look very good on your behalf if you take it calmly without bursting into tears or getting mad or something.Most chances that she will feel worse than you do just by turning you down.
• Be honest with yourself if she has been sending signals that she's not interested.
• Don't act like a completely different person because your on a date because if she likes you enough to go on a date with you she doesn't want some clown to take her on a date she wants the guy she knows.
• Don’t brag about something you've done recently. That can make you sound immature.