It was a different night, a night that an element of achievement was questioned. Maturity. Was it lacked? Was it insufficient? According to KimKH, Penang, I had all 6 elements (Maturity, Family Oriented, Sense of Security, Reliability in certain circumstances & especially Loyalty). In fact, too much of maturity and loyalty, she said. The conversation turned green and different when the grey skies were repainted into blue.
Then Claris spoke to me. It's been ages since she actually did. Agreed with Kim's comments and assured that J had the wrong side of my personality and insufficient knowledge about me, she objected to the change. But it was too late and the hardcore dominant side has already surfaced. Changes were already in reset and I'm now the default self again. This change was not for anyone but for myself and to stand firm once again after 2yrs of softening and being too nice and all. The rebirth of my former self. Just before the transformation was complete, she said a few things which reflected about J, Emileen and myself. It then led to what was the lyrics of All This Time and since it's about us... I'm going to shout it out just before the transition of my real self completes.
Lyrics to All This Time
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I knew you loved me
I chose to go
I knew that you would find me
But I pretended not to know
It wasn't cos I was unhappy
It wasn't cos I was blind
Or could I have been when I said
I'm gonna let the wind blow
Leave the past behind
The memories will do just fine
They'll saturate in time
I'm gonna make it on my own
Make it on my own
I took the highway
Built on sand
I knew you'd be there for me
But I refused to hold your hand
The going's good all around me
But deep inside I can't find
A reason to live without you
But can I let the wind blow?
Leave the past behind?
The memories they cloud my mind
I know I crossed the line
Should I just journey on alone?
I can't bear to find
The pain I caused you all this time
When I look in your eyes
I'm gonna let the wind blow
Leave the past behind
The memories will do just fine
They'll saturate in time
Don't have to make it all alone
Cos in your eyes I find
The tears that loved me all this time
You loved me all this time
