the F.U.C.K. word well explained [Courtesy of Julian Tan]

An abstract came onto Facebook awhile ago which should be shared for the knowledge of the General Public. The favorite word of Julian is well displayed and explained in such context and pretext with the proper intention and not to be misunderstood. I disclaim that this isn't anything offensive but just for the sole purpose of comedy, fun & unrelated. Other disclaimers apply.

So, before I share that with you, may I just say happy "FUCKing" before you get to hear the words "FUCK you".

>:)

And I Quote:

WELL EXPLAINED:

In ancient England people couldn't have sex prior to marriage without the King's permission. So if they wished to fornicate, they had to apply to the King, pay the necessary charges and fees and get a Card stating that they were permitted to have sex. That card was hung outside the door as a warning to others not to invade the privacy of a room.

The Card read " Fornication Under Consent of King" (in short , F.U.C.K )!!

Thus a new word was born and it went on to become probably the most used, abused and understood word in the whole world.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word, which just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (Mary fucked John) and intransitive (John was fucked by Mary).

It can be an action verb (John really gives

a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).

It can even be used as a conjunction (John is ugly, fuck, he's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck."

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1) Surprise -- "What the fuck are you doing here?"

2) Fraud -- "I got fucked by the car dealer."

3) Resignation -- "Oh, fuck it!"

4) Trouble -- "I guess I'm fucked now."

5) Aggression -- "FUCK YOU!"

6) Disgust -- "Fuck me."

7) Confusion -- "What the fuck...?"

8) Difficulty -- "I don't understand this fucking business!"

9) Despair -- "Fucked again...."

10) Pleasure -- "I fucking couldn't be happier."

11) Displeasure -- "What the fuck is going on here?"

12) Lost -- "Where the fuck are we?"

13) Disbelief -- "UN-FUCKING- BELIEVABLE! "

14) Retaliation -- "Up your fucking ass!"

15) Denial -- "I didn't fucking do it."

16) Perplexity -- "I know fuck-all about it."

17) Apathy -- "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

18) Greetings -- "How the fuck are ya?"

19) Suspicion -- "Who the fuck are you?"

20) Panic -- "Let's get the fuck out of here."

21) Directions -- "Fuck off."

22) Awe -- "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description -- "He's a fucking asshole."

It can be used to tell time -- "It's five fucking thirty."

It can be used in business -- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

It can be maternal -- "Motherfucker."

It can be political -- "Fuck Clinton!"

It may also have been used by many notable people throughout history at crucial times:

"What the fuck was that?" -- Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" -- General Custer

"That's not a real fucking gun, is it?" -- John Lennon

"Who's gonna fucking find out?" -- Richard Nixon

"Why the fuck did that apple hit me?" -- Issac Newton

"Heads are going to fucking roll." -- Marie Antoinette

"I could have used a fucking map." -- Ulysses

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" -- Captain of the Titanic

"Any fucking idiot could understand that." -- Albert Einstein

"It DOES SO fucking look like her!" -- Picasso

"Okay, I know... we'll build this BIG fucking wall to keep them out."

-- Emperor of the Ch'in Dynasty

"I can't believe I just fucking said that." -- Patrick Henry

"Fucking backstabbers! " -- Julius Caesar

"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" -- Michelangelo

"Fellatio is not fucking!" -- Bill Clinton

"Where is that fucking pizza guy?" -- Elvis

"Why? Because its fucking there!" -- Sir Edmund Hilary

"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" -- Joan of Arc

"Scattered fucking showers my ass." -- Noah

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." -- John F. Kennedy

"What are the fucking chances I'm going to heaven?" -- Adolf Hitler

"Hey, where the fuck are your turbans?" -- Christopher Columbus when he discovered the 'Indians'.

Re-energized for the moment

Using 33 hours to turn a very run-down me into a refreshed, rejuvenated and recharged person was almost a tough thing but a quick, short, simple and spontaneous getaway re-energized me.

Started an early journey to Penang about 6am but managed to get pass a smooth traffic to land in Queensbay Mall just before 10am. Shockingly, no shops are opened yet. Ok, take note: They only open after 11am!

Being hungry without breakfast, I left the mall and head on to New World Park for some Bak Chang, Char Kuey Tiaw & Popiah... then, tried to find my way over to Bukit Bendera. OMG, the queue was horrendous and it was disappointing cos I really wanted to go back up there to sense that special kind of feeling I last left back there. Well, it was already tough for me to get a parking there and to do that incredibly hard parking some more. (The parking space is just exactly enough to allow a cat to squeeze thru between 2 cars which I parallel parked.)

Gave up on that and decided to check-in first. Ok, Golden Sands Resort, here we go~! The room is so expensive during the school holidays peak periods and it's like so "normal". Doesn't even come with a tub after paying for RM754 per night! Geez... and I was also rather disappointed to see that my so-called "sea-view" deluxe was actually just facing the pool and the surroundings because I was on the 1st floor!    =_='"...

Oh yes, talk about the check-in... I saw that there was this "drinking station" and took a glass to have my thirst being crunched... Suddenly, this woman from the lounge area came to tell me that the drink was a welcome drink for the "check-in" guests. I said, "I know... I'm a Guest". Then she replied to me that it was for those guests that had just checked-in. Well, mind her, when I told her I am a "Guest", I even took out my key card to prove that. I suddenly went like... (HELLO???, I'm not a non-paying customer!). So I hysterically and sarcastically answered that, "I just checked-in. Any different from 'Just Checked-in Guests'?" It made me sound like there's a time frame for you to check-in and drink a small glass of LIME JUICE:CORDIAL. GEEZ~! DAMN kiam~siap... Cheapskate Shangri-La wanted to spoil my repair-mode mood. FYI, you took RM1,000 CASH from me just for your stinking deposit. 1 Glass of thingy will KILL you ah?

Anyway, back to my relaxation... Had a light nap in the comfy bed. Then hopped out to the nearby Zen Wellness SPA. A 90 minute Full Body works cost RM110++. The fellow wanted to charge RM200++ if they come to my room. WHAT a difference! It's only across the road some more. So, I asked for the 'Free Shuttle Service' and was asked to wait in the lobby in 5mins. Surprisingly, it was just a circle turn away. To be exact, a stone's throw away. Literally... I could pick up a pebble and toss it across the street. Hehehehehe.

The delicate hands did a great job. I was very well "repaired". Heck, I was even stepped on. And psychologically, if you get a belly rub, you'll always think your tummy had shrunken "slightly". Again, I said psychologically. Hahahah... Compare to the hotel's offer, it cost RM495++ for something like that. And I even read about it somewhere on the trip advisor's site that a patron from Dublin claims that some package that the couple had cost them RM300 (for both. not each!) to do a 2.5hr package including nails, body, foot reflexo... spa, candle waxing and many other works. The Dublin pair said it cost them 5x back home to do that. Imagine RM1,500 for 2 pax in Dublin. WOW~!

After that, went on the beach for a walk and see those families enjoying themselves and the water sports. The para-glyding looks so fun. I was offered RM50 per pax or RM100 for 2 pax to fly together. Duration: 1 spin around the beach. Well, sounds kinda reasonable. Normally cost more for tourist. That was a discount for being a local/malaysian. There's also others like banana boat ride, scuba racing and many other fun stuff.

After walking to one end, I saw an old uncle doing a good massage in a hut by the sea side. Wah, he looks like those "Ip Man/Wong Fei Hong" doing some traditional massage/tai chi healing. COST? RM60nett for 60 mins full body. ARGHHHHHHHH... that was what I wanted la! Darn... ok, back to the room to bathe and get ready for dinner in town.

Alice (Wai Yi) was late to arrive cos the traffic on the bridge was slow-moving for her. She came from Bukit Mertajam side. She went to pick up Wen Ting and arrived about 9pm. Luckily, while waiting for them, I bumped into Karen (Kah Ean). Wow... she grew up and changed so much. So happy to see her after so many years. Maybe married life has differed a person. She was with her hubby and parents and then had to run off shortly. Zoey was suppose to try and join but last I checked, she was still at the beach. (Oh, not same hotel as me. She was at Paradise Sandy Beach. That's Tanjung Bungah, I'm at Batu Feringgi.) Finally she had dinner with her mum around 10ish. Good girl celebrating her grandma's bday over the weekend. The fellas and I had hawker food instead. So commercialized already nowadays. Geez~ Gurney, Gurney... (Sotong Kangkong+Century Eggs+Fried Oysters with Coconut Juice)

Oh yeah, Emily Gan was suppose to also reach Penang at night and call me. Wonder whatever happened to that?

Head over to Winter Warmers for some English Tea and cakes+sandwiches with Alice while Wen Ting went to do her eye brows for awhile. Apparently, the two of them was planning their Korea trip the entire nite! Guess how hard it was for them to build an itinerary? Planning for a 7days trip was like planning for some National Economic Summit for them both... Apa~lah. It's just a shopping Free N'Ez trip la! The both of them were exchanging debates while I was meddling with my Earl Grey TEA. Well, excuse me. The lemon slices were so thin, it looked like they took a microscale to measure it exactly before slicing it to 0.00001 milli-micron in thickness. After hearing my appeal, they gave me 4 thin slices of the same milli-micron lemon and a little "pinch" of honey. (Yeah, if I could pinch it, that's the size it would be).

Back to the room, I had a good rest till morning and I head on to breakfast with pancakes, sausages, hash browns, meat & bacons, toast, scramble eggs and stuff like that. This is so back to nature with the little birds flying in and out of the garden settees and some even landed on my table to welcome me. The chirping kinda makes me so "in love with spring nature". There's this young teenage girl that even wore the exact same t-shirt as mine. (The white Universal Studios Singapore Tee) What are the odds? Hehe..

Slept some more... re-energized myself with some zen meditation some more and then... back on the road heading home. Was planning to drop by to visit Michelle but the Hew family had other agendas instead. Uncle bday celeb wor.... ok, nevermind... went straight back to KL and makan dinner with Jack & Kay Wong a.k.a. Sunday Wong. Then, took a 35km journey home to clean myself and rest and pen down this blog.

Overall? I was very well recharged from the relaxing music, sounds of nature, body rejuvenation works, and plenty of sleep (Slept so well and so much that I kena complain I snore so loud in the first history of my life. Resulted from Super tired for months, I guess. And I was just too comfortable + relaxed there.) In fact, I am managed to pen down 2 songs at the beach. Then, play aside, work was done and I say, it's worth it. The trip was one of my best rejuvenation and happiness in MONTHS. Magical, very satisfied and memorable.

I guess sometimes, we should just do nothing but sleep and rest at a good resort. It's good for the body, mind and soul. The serene peace and time to allow your body+mind to heal is an essential part of life that we need once in awhile. A great place to have your meditation, tai chi and yoga. (Psst... they even had dive-in movies after 7.30pm and a great live band by the beach bar. :P~)

Would I want to re-live that again? Definitely wanna do that again. (Retired life? hahaha)