There are originals and there are cover versions with many other renditions that make them unique.
Stephanie Gee made a version that makes it soft, nicer and soothing. That's why everyone is unique and everyone has their own talent.
I applaude her great talent and ability to calm such a nice song. Some more, she's a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice. She's now a sensation in this stable.
I m praying... am prepared for the worse but thinks there may be a miracle. I know you will pull it through. Heard about a loss of someone special's dear friend and now it is my turn to anticipate for it is even more 'shaky' to me. But I am surprised about one thing, she gave me a very encouraging and strong supportive respond. one that makes me feel that i'm filled with hope and look at things that is still currently in front of me with change. i shall treasure it. I shall remember moments like "being tied to the leg of the table by him" and "diving underwater young". 10 Q.
I wonder if, I ever thought of what my childhood would be like, if it flashed before me. Now I truly see it come and go. Laughters and memories that was created to leave footprints in my mind.
Well, at least I now know it before it was too late. I'm suddenly speechless and wordless after such news. I guess now I understand how destiny works and the time stamp for humans.
Loveis not about giving or receiving gifts but about sharing each other’s feelings and letting each other know how much you really care. You need to be romantic, creative, and unique. The best way to show someone you really care is by words and how your actions make them feel special. You need to say something coming from the heart and show them from your soul. Love them for who they are and not for who you are.
Steps:
Think about all the great moments that you have shared with that person for inspiration. If you think you won't remember, write it down or even better, make it into a poem.
Try to think of words that can describe what your feelings towards him/her are. The happiness you feel when you are around him/her and the necessity you have to being with him/her.
Find a place where you'll be comfortable and alone.
Tell them how much you want to be with them. They will appreciate that you are showing them your love and not just saying it.
Spend as much time with them as you can. If you love some one, you should prefer always to see him/her all the time.
If you feel they have something to say, do not ignore them.
Finally, just say it. Don't try to think of the perfect time to say it because sometimes it will never come out, if you become too nervous. If you didn't prepare anything to say, just speak your heart out.
Tips:
Do not stress about it. They are your feelings; you just need to learn how to express them.
You don't need to be at a fancy place to tell him/her your feelings. Just pick somewhere where you could be alone.
If you want to be romantic, go somewhere special. For example; you can go where you both met, where you first kissed each other or just somewhere with a nice view or a place that is special to both of you.
Don't forget to say "I love you," if you do and if you really mean it, say it a lot because that person will never get tired of hearing it.
Express your love as often as you are able to.
Don't break off eye contact while expressing your love.
You could always write your feelings in a letter that expresses how you feel and give it to them.
Always just let it flow out or you will never get that feeling out of you!
Warnings:
To truly love is to give, give and give and expect nothing in return. This makes it a very special relationship when both think this way.
Do not be afraid to give and show your love, understand and respect each other's feelings and emotions. Remember our hearts are fragile and feel everything.
Don't end it if they don't say it back. Nothing says both parties fall in love at the same time, continue to love them and when it's right for them, they'll say it back.
Tell them how much you want to be with them and spend as much time with them as you can. They will appreciate that you are showing them your love and not just saying it.
If the girl/guy does not love you back, there is a chance she/he will freak out. Proceed cautiously and slowly
If you've heard about Hachiko, the loyal dog may feel touched and some may even shed a tear. For those who doesn't know about it, let me give you a brief intro.
Hachikō(ハチ公, November 10, 1923–March 8, 1935), known in Japanese as chūken Hachikō(忠犬ハチ公, "faithful dog Hachikō" ('hachi' meaning 'eight', a number referring to the dog's birth order in the litter, and 'kō,' meaning prince or duke)), was an Akita dog born on a farm near the city of Ōdate, Akita Prefecture, remembered for his loyalty to his owner, even many years after his owner's death.
In 1924, Hidesaburō Ueno, a professor in the agriculture department at the University of Tokyo took in Hachikō as a pet. During his owner's life Hachikō saw him out from the front door and greeted him at the end of the day at the nearby Shibuya Station. The pair continued their daily routine until May 1925, when Professor Ueno did not return on the usual train one evening. The professor had suffered from a cerebral hemorrhage at the university that day. He died and never returned to the train station where his friend was waiting. Hachikō was loyal and every day for the next nine years he waited at Shibuya.
Hachikō was given away after his master's death, but he routinely escaped, showing up again and again at his old home. Eventually, Hachikō apparently realized that Professor Ueno no longer lived at the house. So he went to look for his master at the train station where he had accompanied him so many times before. Each day, Hachikō waited for Professor Ueno to return. And each day he did not see his friend among the commuters at the station.
The permanent fixture at the train station that was Hachikō attracted the attention of other commuters. Many of the people who frequented the Shibuya train station had seen Hachikō and Professor Ueno together each day. They brought Hachikō treats and food to nourish him during his wait.
This continued for nine years with Hachikō appearing precisely when the train was due at the station.
Hachikō died on March 8, 1935. He was found on a street in Shibuya. His heart was infected with filarial worms and 3-4 yakitori sticks were found in his stomach. His stuffed and mounted remains are kept at the National Science Museum of Japan in Ueno, Tokyo.
Moving on, today's story was not about Hachiko but of something similar. It's about how can a deaf play violin and still shine? Remember that you can touch the hearts of many and it is not your limitations or disabilities that causes a disadvantage. But the fact that you pursue to achieve your dreams and wanting to do so will be the driving force.
Lastly, this should be a good motivation for those who doubt their musical ability. It is also something for us to learn when we ask "Why are we different from others?". If you ask this, then you should also remember, "Why do you want/have to be like others?". I am reminded that "Music is a visible thing. Close your eyes... You will see."
Here's something to inspire yourself to be unique and stand out as a special. [Disclaimer: I'm not advertising for them, in case you ask].
We can feel with our gut the true nature of things. And sometimes you feel that, no matter how many love letters you send to one another, the feelings between you two are just not that genuine brand of love. What can you do to nurture that intimacy?
Steps:
First of all, you need to be able to love. This seems like a task that everyone is capable of, but with the concept of 'love' being as hazy and ill-defined as it is, it's not a simple as it seems. Love is not about economics, social politics, how he looks, how much he cares about you, or even the myriad attractive things that he does. It's a feeling that permeates everything you share together, like a constant music that is always playing in the background. Love is a feeling of comfort that seems like it has been there forever. If you feel that this is something you feel or are capable of feeling, then you need to build on that.
Secondly, you need to be able to love someone else more than yourself. This means that, above all else, a sense of closeness and respect for who he is. If you subscribe to the school of thought which dictates that 'you are a goddess, an independent woman, an amazing chick that he can't get anywhere else', you are not going to be able to grow closer. Statements such as the examples only distance yourself from him.
You need to realise the nature of men. Your boyfriend, contrary to what you might think, is not an all-forgiving endlessly-compassionate altruist. He is not capable of loving only you, because you are not the only thing in the universe. If you are looking down on him, bending him to your will, and he is complying, he is doing it in exchange for something. Usually, this will be sex or companionship, or alternatively, status and pride. When he grows tired of the relationship, he will move on in a heartbeat. If you do not take steps to build closeness with him, he will end up throwing you away like a used condom.
Tips:
Don't make anything a big deal. Don't make your problems his problems. Don't rant or rave
Focus on just having a good time together. Try to make the time you share free of pressure or drama.
Focus on sharing experiences, thoughts and emotions together.
If you have something emotional you are dealing with, be open with your boyfriend without being dramatic or self-pitying. He is not one of your girlfriends, so don't make it seem worse than it is, or labour the point. He wants to help you, so make sure he feels appreciated if he cheers you up.
He want to feel accepted by your friends, and he wants you to be accepted by his friends. He will defend you against his friends if they don't like you. Make sure you do the same and try and create a good environment to be in together.
Warnings:
Love should not be one-sided. There is no way to 'make him love you' if you don't love him.
There is no magic pill to make a relationship work. If the relationship is already failing, there is often no reliable way to bring it back to working order.
These are just guidelines for how to approach this idea. It is not a foolproof plan, and you should adapt it to suit your situation.
Having some problems with your ex? Still wanting to have them back as a friend? Here are some tips to help you out.
Steps:
Give both you and your ex some time. Let the both of you think it through the problems individually and see where the fault lies. This can help you to prevent the problems from re-occurring in the future.
Respect your ex decision. If your ex do not want to be friends back, don't take it too hard. Everyone has a right to choose who they want to be friends with.
Be cool about everything. If your ex ignores you during this period of time, don't pursue the matter. Give your ex space and time.
Let nature take its course. Only time will tell if you two are meant to be friends, lovers or enemies.
You can ask mutual friends to help you ask your ex about what he/she is feeling.
Tips:
Don't act too desperate. Nobody loves a desperate person.
Don't take everything too harshly.
Be kind and gentle about any decision your ex made.
Day 12. It was very much more soothing to see your presence and assuring that all was well. Then I realized that "Wise men said only fools rushed in. But I can't help, fallin' in love with you"
It was no surprise to me that "Silence is Golden." After all, "You say it best, when you say nothing at all".
The best part of tonight to remember is one that Elvis said...
"I wonder if you're lonesome tonight You know someone said that the worlds a stage And each must play a part. Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweet heart. Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange And why I'll never know. Honey, you lied when you said you loved me And I had no cause to doubt you. But I'd rather go on hearing your lies Than go on living without you. Now the stage is bare and Im standing there With emptiness all around And if you wont come back to me Then make them bring the curtain down. Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again? Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?"
By request of Tsu Ee, it is also shared to everyone due to its addictive cute rhymes and tunes.
Here's a short introduction about Schnappi, the darn cute lil German crocodile:
Schnappi das kleine Krokodil (Snappy the Little Crocodile) is a German children's cartoon character. The introductory song "Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil" became an Internet hit before it reached № 1 on the German charts in January 2005, and was widely popular in other European countries as well, topping the singles charts in Belgium, Austria, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland for several weeks.
Schnappi was a character in a popular animated German children's TV show called Die Sendung mit der Maus (The Show With the Mouse). In the cartoon in which the character appeared, Schnappi is seen singing a song about life in Egypt. That song, which is sung in German, has a catchy tune and simple lyrics.
The song, which first appeared in the Sendung mit der Maus show in 2001, was written by Iris Gruttmann and performed by her then-six year old niece, Joy.
Joy Gruttmann (born December 6, 1995 in Gelsenkirchen) is a German singer.
Her aunt is the composer Iris Gruttmann. She has sung children's music for the ARD program Die Sendung mit der Maus since 1999. Her fifth song was "Schnappi", which she recorded in 2001 when she was five years old. In 2004 and 2005 "Schnappi" became a #1 hit in Germany and several other European countries such as Belgium, the Netherlands, Switzerland and Sweden. It also peaked in the Top 10 in Australia and New Zealand.
SchnappiDas Kleine Krokodil Lyrics:
Ich bin Schnappi, das kleiner Krokodil.
Komm aus Ägypten, das liegt direkt am Nil.
Zuerst lag ich in einem Ei,
dann schni-,schna-,schnappte ich mich frei
[Refrain]
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Ich bin Schnappi, das kleiner Krokodil,
hab scharfe Zähne, und
davon ganz schön viel.
Ich schnapp mir was ich schnappen kann,
ja schnapp zu, weil
ich das so gut kann.
[Refrain]
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Ich bin Schnappi, das kleiner Krokodil,
ich schnappe gern, das ist
mein Lieblingsspiel.
Ich schleich mich an die Mama ran,
und zeig ihr wie ich schnappen kann
[Refrain]
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp
Ich bin Schnappi, das kleiner Krokodil,
und vom Schnappen, da krieg
ich nicht zu viel.
Ich beiß dem Papi kurz ins Bein,
und dann, dann schlaf ich einfach ein.
Breakups can be rough, and they can be amicable; no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. The loss of your relationship can bring on intense heartache. But if you're looking for some help getting through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, read on...
This Chapter is dedicated to a beloved sister who constantly reminds me of a string of words which insightfully tells me that she understands and knows how it feels exactly.
"Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be"
Steps:
Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it sometimes seems as if there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while, but if the relationship was not what both you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later. Thinking about the reasons why it ended can make it much clearer to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but just one discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid many missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship.
Don't rethink your decision. If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't so bad after all, that maybe you could just live with them. Or that maybe if your ex would know just how you feel, he/she wouldn't want to break up after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.
Keep your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, no Facebook, and no IMs - not necessarily as a permanent measure, but until you feel that you can converse with him/her on a purely platonic level, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. If you're reliving the past by seeing him/her, it's not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let go again. You may have to have some contact in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc., but try to limit this to what's absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings short and civil.
Cope with the pain appropriately. It's okay to feel like you have messed up - accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.
Deal with the 'hate phase'. This is when you want to just scream because your rage feels boundless. The amount of anger you feel depends on how antagonistic the split was, the circumstances, and how long it took to make the final break. You may resent your ex for wasting your time. You may realize that the breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to notice at the time). You may even feel a lot of anger towards yourself, but let go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time and energy to rip yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change. There are so many positive things you can do with your emotions and energy. Although it may feel good to replace your feelings of love towards your ex with hate, this can still lead to complications and mixed emotions of love and hate which are never a good thing.
Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net. But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need.
Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to understand valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.
Make a list of reminders. One of the best tricks to help you stick to your resolve is to make a list of all the reasons your ex was not the one for you. Be ruthless and clear -- this is not the time to be forgiving. What you're doing is creating a picture for yourself that will call up an emotional response when you feel tempted to think that "maybe if you just did this or that, it would work out..." Write down what happened and how it made you feel, being clear about the things you never want to feel again. When you find yourself missing your ex in a weak moment, and think you might actually be getting too close to the telephone, get out this list, read it over a couple times, and then talk to yourself, "This is the truth of what it was like. Why would I want to go back and torture myself again?" If you're caught in a low-self-esteem trap, thinking you don't deserve better, imagine this happening to a friend of yours, and think what you would say to your friend: "Get as far away as you can! That relationship was no good for you!"
Out with the old, in with the new. A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. The added bonus is that keeping busy with tidying your space doesn't require a lot of brain power, but does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Occupying yourself with such tasks designed to make your life better and easier will also occupy your mind enough to help you through the residual pain. Clean your room, get some new posters, clean up the icons on your PC desktop. As insignificant as cleaning up sounds, it'll make you feel better.
Remove memory triggers. There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex - a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Once the grieving period has had some time to process, don't dwell on painful feelings or memories. There are probably things that are pushing your buttons without your conscious recognition. Try walking around each room in your house with a box and removing things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. Really focus and look carefully. You may realize that the little blue bird-shaped box sitting on the mantel has become pretty invisible for the last couple years, but when you take a conscious look at it, you notice that every time you turn towards that corner of the room and it catches your eye, you feel a sharp little pain in your solar plexus. It can work wonders to clear your space of all these triggers. If you have a keepsake, such as a watch or piece of jewelry that was given to you by your ex, and it's a reminder of the good aspects of your relationship, there's nothing wrong with keeping such a thing, but for the time being, try putting it away for later, when you've given yourself some time and space. Put these reminders far away from you, such as in a box in a place you'll never go. Out of sight, out of mind.
Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well. Enjoy Being Single.
Stay active. Exercise improves your mood and alleviates depression, and the distraction will help keep your mind off your situation. Go running outside, visit (or join) the gym, or just go for a walk, maybe with a friend, and think of releasing the anger or sadness with every step. See How to Motivate Yourself to Work Out.
Let go. Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time.
Be Optimistic. Change your thinking; that will help change the way you feel. Soon enough you'll be feeling released and free, and ready to take on new challenges.
Go treat yourself to a date with you. Eat. See a movie.
Tips:
Remember that your ex may be trying to get over you, as well. Be sensitive to that, and keep your distance. If you've decided to stop seeing one another, do just that: stop.
Sometimes it helps to listen to music that matches your feelings because you have stored up grief that needs a trigger to help you release it. But beware of wallowing. After a certain point, you're not helping yourself by going through it all again and again with the sad songs. Instead, try making a couple of CDs or playlists that put your thoughts where you want them to be. Sometimes it helps to make a collection of more self-affirming, new-attitude, defiant songs if you are feeling helpless. Choose lyrics that make you feel empowered and focused with a driving beat.
As simple as this sounds, be clear to yourself that you are actually breaking up. Too often the thoughts of possibly being back together will creep in, distracting you from the work of healing. Such fantasizing gradually eats at you and destroys your emotional well being. Accept the truth of your situation, and commit to it.
If your ex has left you for another person then ask yourself: If s/he said s/he wanted you back, would you really want him or her? Would you ever trust him/her not to break your heart again? Would you be hurt, angry, distrustful when s/he is 10 minutes late calling you, wondering where she is, who he is with? Though you may believe that the answer to all your prayers would be a reconciliation with your ex, if it did happen, you might find that Mr. Spock from Star Trek was right when he said "You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."
Keep your dignity. Many times, it's our own ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. A breakup, especially one in which your partner has cheated on you, can really undermine your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by impressing yourself with accomplishment - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person.
If you find yourself compulsively checking your ex's MySpace, Facebook, or any other social networking profile, help yourself out and use the Firefox extension, block site, which allows you to block the URL to that profile. Sometimes it also helps to take them off your 'Friends' list, or 'de-friend' them, at least for a while. Even if things ended on a clean slate, it can be too painful to see what the other person is up to.
Warnings:
After some time passes (how much time depends on the length and/or intensity of your relationship and how dependent you let yourself become on your ex), you will start to feel better. This does not mean that you should jump into another relationship right away, especially a serious one. Take it easy. You have all the time in the world to feel better, and just because you meet a nice guy/girl does not mean you should get involved. Your emotions may still be unstable and the first person you meet may get a version of you that is not completely healed.
Depression.We've all heard of it. Most of us will come into contact with it at some point in our lives. Depression is a difficult and miserable experience to go through, and it's something that either you or someone you love will have to deal with. However, it isn't just the victims who are impacted. What about their friends? Victims of depression need steady, supportive friends to rely on in times of need. If you're the friend of a depression victim and are confused and worried, then worry no longer. This article is for you.
This Chapter is dedicated to Michelle Hew for her continuous support and positive aura in fighting for a better person without depression.
Steps:
Research. If you don't know much about depression, it's harder to recognize dangerous symptoms and be able to offer some relief. It's not hard to learn a lot about depression. There are websites, books, magazine and newspaper articles, and of course, many doctors. Ask people who know the disease about what it really is. Look it up and determine what type of depression your friend has/may have. Look over the symptoms, various medications and other treatments. The more you know, the easier it is to help.
Listen. Although you may think that the last thing your friend wants to do is talk to you about depression, you could be wrong. Sometimes a friend just needs someone to talk to. Actively listen without judging or giving advice. Depression is an issue that people sometimes feel they must hide, in order to maintain their usual life. Either that or they are only just coming to terms with it themselves, let alone the idea of letting other people in on it. However, from time to time, your friend may open up, or express the desire to talk to you. When this happens, be understanding and kind. Don't interrupt, don't try to convince them they're wrong, and try not to react in horror. It can be difficult to hear about how terrible your friend feels, but remember that they're trusting you. Value this trust and keep it close.
Acknowledge. Tell the person suffering from depression that you've noticed that they seem down or depressed lately.
Find out why your friend is depressed. Did they just have a bad break-up or did their parents get divorced? Ask them if there is anything you can do to help. Ask carefully and gently, and don't get upset if they're slow to tell you. Some people take longer than others to talk. If they say they don't have a reason, it's probably true.
Try to understand. Every person's story is different, and so it is impossible to completely understand. However, keeping an open mind and putting yourself in your friend's shoes can help you come closer to them. Once you've done your research, you should know a lot more about depression. Apply the symptoms and emotions to yourself, and contemplate how you would feel if this was happening to you. Call upon things your friend has done or told you, and try to understand why and what they mean. In times of need, having someone understand can be all the relief in the world.
Don't tell your friend that life is still worth living and that this situation will improve and the sadness will get better. This trivializes their pain and will not help.
Encourage your friend not to abuse drugs/alcohol/nicotine. People with depression can be much more vulnerable to the negative effects that occur when recreational drugs wear off. If your friend is taking antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication, encourage them not to make any changes without talking to their doctor or psychiatrist. Taking more than they were prescribed can be dangerous, and going off the medication suddenly may make them feel much worse. Avoid alcohol as well - nobody is going to conquer depression with a hangover. Then of course, smoking will not help either.
Be patient. Because depression is heavy, slow moving and unpredictable, it can frustrate and even anger those who are trying to help. Remember that depression is a complex disease, and try to understand that the depressed person is not herself or himself right now. If your friend doesn't seem to appreciate your efforts, or is pushing you away, don't walk off in a temper. Give them space or give them comfort if they need it, and be there for them, no matter how much they believe you don't need to be.
Advise them to seek professional help. They may deny that they need it, or tell you that "it's okay" or they'll be "fine". If they react this way, stop pestering them about it for a while. Over time, the idea might grow on them. Depression is not something that goes away by itself after a while. This is probably the most difficult step. Sometimes, a depressed person is more than happy to talk about it, go to a therapist, have people know, and start the healing process. But other times, they will argue, refuse, deny things, and often get angry and defensive. It is a serious mental illness. However, just because your friend doesn't want you to get involved, it doesn't justify you standing there and letting the problem get worse. Be sensible. If you friend is sounding like they are harming themselves or are thinking of suicide, you need to alert somebody.Encourage the person to start with a family doctor or local mental health associations. Offer to help them find resources or counseling services.
Don't push too hard. If it makes your friend feel worse to face up to their problems, do not force them to continue. Sometimes analysing a person's past can make them feel worse rather than better; in this case, focus on how they feel now and how they want to be in future, and forget whatever caused them to feel depressed. Leave it in the past until they are ready to either deal with it or let it go.
"Depression can be a serious ailment, especially if the person does not feel supported. You can help by knowing the right ways to be supportive and offer assistance."
Tips:
Stress, anxiety and a long period of significant low mood can cause or worsen depression. If your friend is prone to any of these conditions, they must attempt to overcome them through stress management, positive thinking and any other therapies or techniques that may be effective.
People can and do recover from depression. Never lose sight of that, and without pushing it in the depressed person's face, make sure they remember it too.
Even if a person does not 100% recover from depression, as may be the case for severe sufferers, it is still possible to live a normal, productive and happy life as the sufferer gradually learns new coping mechanisms.
Don't press them too hard. Talk on their terms and only go as deep as they go. Otherwise they will just turn away from you.
Waiting for them to confront the problem with you can be hard; hint that you're there for them to make the process easier.
Keep them talking, talking helps but give them ways to work out their problems privately too, don't force them to be dependent on you.
Sometimes they just want to vent. Don't start spitting out possible solutions until you know the full extent of the problem. A good listener can sometimes be vastly more helpful than someone who tries to offer solutions.
If a person finds their thoughts and feelings too troubling to talk about, the best thing you can do to help them is to distract them; play a game, tell them a story, listen to some music, watch a film. There is no time limit to recovery and a depressed person does not have to confront all their darkest fears straight away. Take it steady, go at their speed. They may feel ready to open up to you at a later date.
If you honestly mean it and can do so with an open heart, offer to be there 24/7. Tell them that you welcome their phone calls at all hours. You will rarely, if ever, receive a middle of the night call. But a sincere offer sends a message of support that will be heard.
Try not to give them advice, try to just guide them.
A lot of times depressed people just want to be alone, so don't push. If you can, try to get them interested in going out with friends and doing things again. Even getting them to be happy again for a couple hours means there is still hope!
If a person has put their problems aside for even a moment, then for that moment they overcame their depression. Tell them this.
Remember that having a mental illness still carries a stigma in our society. So, before you discuss the depressed person's condition with a third party, ask their permission to do so. You want to help them, not make them subject to the gossip mill.
Do not try to make them feel better by reminding them how much better their lives are than other people's.
Be gentle. Depression can be dark, confusing and angry, but it can also be tender, hurtful and full of sensitive tears. Don't yell or be rough-keep your voice and body language soft and don't force your friend into anything.
Do things for your friend. Helping with work, distracting them or temporarily cheering them up, defending them from others...preventing and blocking everyday hassles does make a difference.
Make sure the people who need to know, know. Although your friend may be furious at you, parentsneed to know if their child is depressed. You may be their friend, but parents may be able to reach out and help in the ways you can't. In any case, they deserve to know. However, if the depression is triggered or made worse because of troubles, violence, or abuse at home, do not tell the parents. Instead, alert a teacher or some other form of authority.
Recovery can be hard work and it may take a while. It probably won't happen overnight, or even in a few days or weeks, depending on how severe the depression is and the trigger factors causing it, if any. It is possible to experience "blips" or temporary relapses on the road to recovery; this is normal, so be gently reassuring when it happens, and remind them how far they have come.
There are organisations set up to support people suffering from low moods and depression. "Venting" thoughts and feelings to these organisations can be very helpful.
If your friend is suffering badly, encourage them to see their doctor. Go with them if necessary. Encourage them to discuss their options with the doctor - counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy can be very helpful and are also effective at preventing sufferers from "relapsing" into depression after they have recovered.
If your friend is prescribed antidepressants, make sure they are aware that they can request other forms of therapy at the same time, for example counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy. Antidepressant medication can help to "muzzle" the depression, improving a sufferer's quality of life, but it won't make the problems go away. That's what talking therapy is for. However depresssion can be due to biological factors rather than life events and in these circumstances counselling can be at best unhelpful and at worst damaging. Whatever your friend decides is best for him/her, respect that decision
Antidepressants and other forms of therapy such as counselling may actually make a person feel worse for a while. Medication can have many side-effects, and talking therapies may kick up problems and distressing feelings that have been long buried. It is totally normal for a person to find these things distressing; it should get easier as time goes by. Make sure your friend knows you are there for them if they need your support.
Don't ask them to "cheer up" or "snap out of it". People with depression aren't capable of just doing it so simply, so be sensitive to that. It'll only make them feel guilty about their condition.
Warnings:
Depression can be very serious. It often takes a professional to take care of it.
Never tell them that their problems are stupid or that there is nothing to worry about. They'll stop talking.
Many people with depression will turn down your offer of assistance. Don't take it personally.
If you believe your friend may be at risk of harming themselves or others, take them to their doctor or a drop-in accident and emergency center.
Self-harm could be the precursor to thoughts of suicide, so watch them closely and continue to provide gentle encouragement and reassurance. However, self-harming does not definitely mean that a person will become suicidal, it usually indicates that a person has significant personal problems and may simply be a cry for help.
If your friend does any of the following things, you should call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline / Befrienders for referrals or seek immediate help.
Talks about "wanting to die," or "wishing it was all over."
Begins stockpiling medication, buys guns or gets them out of safety lockers, or does anything else to make a suicide attempt easier.
Begins giving away possessions.
Writes notes to try to "tie things up," even if they are not explicitly talking about a potential attempt.
Begins abusing drugs or alcohol, or eating dramatically less.
Many suicide attempts happen when people begin to feel slightly better, rather than in their very deepest depression. When someone is at rock bottom they may not have enough energy to do anything; when their energy starts to return, that is when they may take action.
Most people who try to kill themselves do talk about wanting to die or not wanting to live first. Don't ignore these warning signs.
