You can pay the small food at the counter that accept the silver

If someone tell you "you can pay the small food at the counter that accept the silver", do you understand what he / she means? Even worst, if he / she rush to you and say "hey.. carefully meet", I am sure you will ignore it and BANG. Why? Take a look at the photos below then you will understand.

I am sorry for those who cannot understand mandrin. Basically these are some translation joke. Sometimes poeple do the direct translation, on word by word. So the so called "carefully meet" is "becareful of your head". The so called "small food" is "snack". And the counter that "accept silver" is actually the "cashier", silver is used as money in the past.

So next time if you are travelling around, and see some funny words like these, I can only wish you good luck.

Very funny political jokes....

I should mention first, no offense to anyone or any country. Just a joke, have a laugh.

The cycle of missing goes like this in Malxxsia:

Get Vixxnaxxse workers, dogs missing.
Get Banxxadexxi workers, Malay girls missing.
Get Inxxxxxian workers, money missing.
Get Ixxixn workers, jewelleries missing.
Get Chxxxse workers, husbands missing.
Call the police, the evidence goes missing.
Call the lawyers, the judge go missing.
Call the ministry of transport, the reports go missing.
Change the government, funds go missing.
Say something and you may be missing.

And one more even more powerful....

How much would it cost to (telephone) call Malxxsia from Hell? You'd be surprised!

Elizabeth, Bush and Baxxwi die and go to hell. But the devil has only one phone there. Elizabeth says, I miss my England , can I use your phone and hear how my people are doing down there. She calls and talks about five minutes. Then she asks: Well devil, how much do I owe you for the call? The devil says: Five million pounds. She writes him a cheque and goes back to her chair .

Bush wants to make a call too. He says I wanna call the US to see how the financial problem is being solved. He talks about ten minutes, then asks how much do I owe you devil? The devil says Ten million dollars. He also writes a cheque and goes back to his seat.

Baxxwi is jealous. He says I want to call Malxxsia . He calls and talks for about an hour to his son-in-law who is busy trying to find $$$. Then he asks the devil how much do I owe you? The devil replies: only one dollar. Baxxwi is shocked and asks 'why so little?'.

The devils says: if you make a call from one hell to another, IT'S LOCAL CALL.


his remind me of a joke, one guy from Russia ask an America guy, when is your "erection" day? And the America guy answer "Everyday!".

Are you a male man?

If someone ask you, are you male or female? How are you going to answer.... Look at this, it is stated Male Man, so if lady will it be the Female Man? Or Female Woman? And even funny for the second case, do you dare to use the "Used Tissue"? Some more it is not free, you got to buy it, buy a "used tissue". And the final one, is having "water under construction".

So next time remember buy some used tissue when you enter male man.

One bike can carry 2, 5, or 9 kids?

Previously show you the limit of a bike, be it 6 piggy, 2 pigs or 1 elephant. Here is the 2nd part, can you guess how many kids can a bike carry? 2? 5 is the limit? Then I am sorry, you are wrong and grealy underestimate the power of a bike. 5 is the limit for full grown adult, and the limit for the kids is..........

Here comes the 5 kids:
And the limit for kids is.. 9!!
How about adult?
Is the one in front and the one at the back that doing the "nose-digging" giving signal? Do you see any driver?

What is the limit of a bike? 6 piggys, 2 pigs, or 1 elephant

hat do you think is the limit of a motorbike or bicycle? Two or three persons? Then you really under estimate this great invention of the world. I can tell you, it can take 6 piggys or 2 pigs or 1 small elephant easily. So don't be surprise if you see two pigs right beside you when you stop at traffic light.

Next time show you some photos with one bike that has 5 or 6 kids on top.

Pirated Nike and Kappa

Take a look at these nearly like real pirated Nike and Kappa. Especially the Kappa one... it is so funny. One called Koppa, and one called Nappa, and pay special attention to the Nappa, see what the couples are doing. The guy is smoking and ...... haha....
This Hike is a bit different from Nike.

Can you sleep like them?

Sometimes if really tired, I think sleep in the train or bus is my limit. Especially during student times, when need to "study" until late night. Now, much better, at most just late for work.... But take a look at these people, their sleeping position is so high standard, really need to have a good balance. And check out the last one...

Uncle, watch TV so closed, bad for eyes.

Most hi-tech roller coaster

Beyond Imagination: Greatest Compilations

Beyond imagination 1: These thieves are daring

Published by Agnes Tan @ Singapore under Funny on Monday, December 08, 2008

These polices think they are clever, caught the thieves in red....

but who knows.. their cars...........

Beyond imagination 2: They are "creative"

Published by Agnes Tan @ Singapore under Funny on Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Do you know what is speechless, when you see these photos, then maybe you can understand what is speechless. These people do something that is so far.... out of your imaginiation. How can such things happen? They are too humour or.......

Next one is even.... powerful

Like to have one?

Beyond imagination 3: These bicycles act like truck, and the trucks act like....

Published by Agnes Tan @ Singapore under Funny on Wednesday, December 10, 2008

These are not just bicycles, they are super bicycles, because they stack the goods as tall as a lorry. If you can have such a bicycles, why you still need a truck? Don't worry, I will show you why a truck is still needed.

Because the truck is needed to carry many trucks....

How can this be allowed on the road? Really terrible..........

Beyong imagination 4: 69 on the bike

Published by Agnes Tan @ Singapore under Funny on Thursday, December 11, 2008

Riding a bike, you need to keep the balance. And still need to perform such a high technical style, must be difficult. But this couple can do it very well. And the bike is on the move. The camera man has a very fast reaction.

Do you see how his leg cross in between her hand and leg?

Guys.. if you want to reduce your fat.... here got some tips

Here's one from Agnes Tan of Singapore again...

This is a very funny one, the calorie counter for the sexual act. For example.... after the business.. if you just lying on bed it will only consumes 18 cal, but if you get up immediately, it consumes 36 calories, and if you need to explain why you get out of bed immediately, it will consumes 516 cal! This is not the best part yet. Click on the figure to see the enlarge one.

See how much cal you lose when her father or your wife knocks on the door.

We just know that handphone, TV, all these electronic gadget have been getting advanced over the time. But do you know that today weapons are also very high tech. With LCD screen and can bend in directions. So you can hide there but shoot somewhere not directly infront of you. Not sure how heavy it is. So take a look.

Looks fun, I never shot with such a gun before.

Only in Malaysia Part 3 - Shopping shopping

This is the last part of this series of "Only in Malaysia". Hope everyone enjoy, and seriously, no offense. I seriously think that Malaysian are more creative than Singaporean. At least they manaage to survive under any circumferences, else protection from goverment. So lets see what they are doing while shopping.

Do you see the one in the middle! That is the best!

Only in Malaysia Part 2 - Things you never see

Continue from the previous, here got a super funny one, the first one. Take a look. Frankly speaking, I don't know what is the 2nd one, but the 3rd one is special. How can a sign board upside down.

Anyone want the "live" fish?

Only in Malaysia Part 1 - Special washroom

I am going to start a 3 series on "Only in Malaysia". But I want to say first, no offense, these are just for laughs, hope everyone enjoy. So lets take a look at these two special toilet. The first one got a drink menu right besides the toilet bowl, maybe let you think about what to drink to compensate for what you lose in your business. In the next one, a toilet that can only pee, but not poo.

Stay tune for more... funny ones promised...

Only in Africa

These are some signs that you would never see in your country except Africa.


I think for the first one, they are trying to paint the swimming pool, and the second one they want hot water..... what do you think?


The sheep just like a baby, so cute...

Please don't touch yourself, let their staffs help you!

At this very suspicious supermarket. There is this sign "Please don't touch yourself, let us help you to try it out. Thanks". Not believe? Take a look at the photos.

The last one also funny, don't shit on the floor. Come on.. who will shit in public besides dog?

The most unmatched wedding photos

Here is the leng rui leng cai match wedding photos. Frankly speaking, their theme sound nice, I mean the pose, the dressing, the background, everything looks good. Only the guy..... err.......

Even this guy is very rich, I may still consider to marry him or not. Unless he is super super rich.. then maybe.....

Who says leng cai leng rui always a match?

Take a break from the "new age" wedding photos, look at this "new age" wedding, a not so "matching" couple. Don't you think that always you can't see a handsome guy and handsome girl be a couple? But this couple, really too much difference.

This reminds me of the Hong Kong actress Gigi Lai 黎姿 and her husband. Maybe he is rich.

New Interpretation of Traffic Sign

Some Management lessons....managing For Dummies

Received this 5 minutes management course...... very interesting and meaningful.

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone..

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

How many guys can pass this test?

Look at this interesting story, I doubt any guy can pass the test. The story is in Chinese, I will try to translate it into English at the bottom, of course read the orginal text in Chinese is more interesting.

我就要和相處一年的女友結婚了，毫無疑問，我很高興。

唯一困擾我的是，我未來的小姨子，一個20歲的辣妹。 她喜歡穿緊身的低胸 T-Shirt 以及迷你短裙。 她經常在我的跟前有意無意的彎下腰，更要命的是在別的男人面前她從不這麼做。

直到那一天，我未來的小姨子 Call 我，讓我去看看請柬的準備情況。 當我到時，她家只有她一個人，迎接我的是她無盡幽怨的眼神說：我愛的人結婚 了，新娘不是我，我現在唯一想做的即是在你結婚之前，把我獻給你。

她在樓梯上對我說：我在臥室等你，如果你決定了，就上樓來找我。 當她走到樓梯的盡頭，和她睡衣一起滑落灑向我的是她眼中的期待。

我呆立了一分鐘，然後做了我當時唯一能做的事：拉開大門，走向我的汽車。 門外，我未來的岳父大人濁淚橫流，給了我一個惡狠狠的擁抱：good boy，我們家 的測試你已經通過了，歡迎你加入到我們的大家庭。

這個故事告訴我們 ...........

保險套_放在車上是對的!

This guy is going to get married with his girlfriend, so of course he is happy.

The only trouble is his future sister-in-law, who is 20 year-old. Always wearing a low cut and mini-skirt. And only bend in front of him but not other guys.

So one day, she call him, and tell him that he is the one she loves, so she decided to give him the day before he get married.

And she will be waiting for him in her room, when he is ready just enter.

He feel surprise and wait and think. Then rush out to his car. But when he open the door, the parent-in-law feel so happy, and say "you pass the test!"

So the moral of the story: put the condom on car!

A luxury "palace" in the Kampung

Someone went to a Kampung (means village) and notice this luxury "palace" lookalike house. You take a look, it is so grand, with huge tall pillar in the front door.

So he decides to see how big is the house...

I think this is the best. Not sure where is it.

Your unforgetable - One night stand experience

If you happen to have a one night stand before, how is your feeling. I pretty sure got mixture of feeling, some may feel excited, some feel guilty and regret. But this lucky guy, feel surprise!

Man : Hahahaha you are great! The best of all the women I had before!

Man : This is the picture of your husband?
Woman : No.

Man : Oh, then is it your boyfriend?
Woman : Also not.

Man : Then you must be mistress of this guy then.
Woman : You are real bad. Nolah.

Woman : Do you think he is handsome? Does he look like me?
Man : Oh, your brother?
Woman : That was me before I went to Korea for operation. Hehehehe

Not sure who add in the text.

How the fight started: Comedy Series

How the fight started ?!!! Here got a few example, very funny, and I am sure you do experience some by yourself....

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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's when the fight started....

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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed, scared and naked, and jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And that's when the fight started....

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started....

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A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started....

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started....

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's when the fight started....

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And that's when the fight started....

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started....

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale..

And that's when the fight started....

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust..'

And that's when the fight started....

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