How to handle Irritating Fellas humorously

This girl is a keeper!!!!

It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious. I

wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United

Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while
making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably
deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to
deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A
single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try
to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm
sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that
the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her
public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,
the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir,
you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to
dance in the rain

A dialogue that even Wikileaks wouldn’t reveal

An interesting article came about when I was reading the news and saw this. Good for sharing and I must say, this guy has quite an imagination. Here's the creativity:

BANGKOK: The following conversation among three world-class crim ... er ... political victims is imaginary. I do believe, however, that if you put Thaksin Shinawatra, Viktor Bout (serving time in the US after being convicted of arms smuggling) and Julian Assange in one chat room and ask them to be sincere and straightforward, the dialogue wouldn’t differ much from this.


Viktor Bout: Just tell me how the hell did you do it?


Thaksin Shinawatra: Do what?


Julian Assange: He’s screwed; I’m all but; while you are gyrating from coast to coast like a ballet dancer.


TS: I see. Do you want to know my secret? First you need a good lawyer.


VB: Are you saying my money plus the political influence of the Kremlin have been misspent, and my legal assistance couldn’t match that provided by that Canadian hotshot of yours?


TS: Well, here I am, and there you are.


JA: I believe you. Tell me what else I need.


TS: You need to champion democracy.


JA: Are you kidding? If Wikileaks is not about democracy, I don’t know what is.


TS: You stole classified information and publicised it, and hid behind democracy in the process. They found you out, my friend.


JA: You mean, if I stole taxpayers’ money and used democracy as a shield, they wouldn’t find me out?


TS: I guess so, but on condition that you be extremely careful about what you do in hotel rooms.


JA: I can’t believe you also believe that rape nonsense. They set me up!


TS: Everyone says he’s been set up.


VB: Yeah yeah.


TS: What is that supposed to mean?


VB: I meant, yeah yeah, nobody set you up.


TS: I hate your sarcastic tone. Of course, nobody set me up. Nobody came to me wielding a land deed and asked if I wanted to buy that piece of property. I bought it, all right. I admit it like a man. But while they did not set me up, they persecuted me. They victimised a good man just because they envied his popularity.


JA: I think I’m a good man, too, although I don’t have as much money as you do to cement that status. And globally, it’s safe to say I’m more popular than you.


VB: True. I googled “Julian Assange” and got 26 million entries. “Thaksin Shinawatra” only got 2.6 million.


TS: Julian, how many of your so-called supporters or sympathisers are willing to face bullets on your behalf?


JA: Umm … I could organise something like that if I wanted to. But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if someone had to die so that I could become a free man.


TS: That’s your very problem. You aren’t looking at the big picture. There’s always a price for everything noble. And while you believe in the power of information, you don’t seem to believe in the power of the people.


JA: Are you suggesting I should organise a blockade of London streets until they remove the rape charges in Sweden?


TS: If you can do it, yeah.


VB: What about me? If I need to block roads, where should I do it? I mean, in which country?


TS: Well, let me think. You have to do it where injustice occurred. That rules out Russia, whose government tried its best to protect you. That leaves Thailand and the US. You can choose one of them, or do it in both places. Thai roads are easier to block, though.


VB: I’m wracking my brain here. My government has never charged me, but America stopped at nothing in trying to pluck me from Thailand and throw me in jail. You were charged and even convicted in your country, but you are roaming American states in a limousine.


TS: If you are hinting at hypocrisy, all I can say is there’s a good reason why American Standard is a universally known brand, whereas nobody has ever heard of Russian Standard. America is very fair to me. And so is England. They must have concluded that my so-called crime is in fact political.


VB: Well, just to make sure, if I do follow you. America thinks a Thai court convicting you is political, and it also thinks a Russian court not even charging me is a travesty?


TS: From the look of it, yeah.


JA: I also want to get this straight. England thinks the criminal case against you is political, so it embraces you. This means England must have assumed that the rape thing is not political, right? But if England is in fact being political in going after me, what does that say to England virtually rebuking those having a political agenda against you?


VB: I’m getting a bit confused.


JA: Surely me too. And British Standard is as unheard of as Russian Standard. Which standard is being applied to me here?


TS: Making people confused could be the ultimate idea. If you baffle them to the point where they no longer know what’s right or wrong, most of the time you’ll benefit.


JA: You’re asking me to abandon my core principle. My philosophy is “No secrets. No confusion. People have an equal right to every piece of information.”


TS: That’s why they are calling you a terrorist, pal. A bit of a blur and you can be like me – a democracy hero riding in a limousine, flying in a private jet and dining with Henry Kissinger.

Joke: how some entities handle their problems

Am sharing this not becos i am anti-gov't or pro any political party but because, it's simply a joke by someone. laugh or don't read on!

I hear a comedy yesterday.

They made a challenge and asked which police force is the most efficient in the world. Malaysia, China or US to catch the rabbit in the jungle. So they throw the rabbit into the jungle.

US took a swat team, satellite tracking and took 3 days to find the rabbit. It cost them 60 million.

China send in 1 million soldiers, line up together and walk across the jungle. Found the rabbit after 3 months. Cost nothing.

Malaysia send it two fat police inspector only. 45 minutes later they come out with a BEAR in handcuffs. The BEAR is so badly beaten and kept saying "I am a rabbit, I am a rabbit".

Texts From My Dog

Ever wonder what it's like if your dog could text you? Well, here's some fun stuff that I don't mind my Dog conversing with me if he could.

Lowe proposes to Shirley in a moment of OMG! / while Oppositions get INTENSE with Parodies

It was EPIC. It was a suspense. It was a moment that my heart kept beating like a drum roll. Kah Wei had this plan devised so perfectly that the Groom looked more composed & steady than the buddies & maid of honors/besties of the Bride-to-be. I don't know why but I was very excited & happy for Shirley.

Maybe it's because I love the buddies of my dearest and her best friend's wedding is something special to me (all of a sudden!). We were all as excited & happy as the couple themselves. (Yeah, as if we were the ones getting married instead.) I know I was nervous & excited. (If there was a 3rd party, he/she could have mistaken/thought I was the one to do the wedding proposal instead.)

Alas, the moment has passed & everyone is still in the after-effects of that romantic & touching thrill. But one thing is for sure. I am very happy for them both as the fairy tale for them has just begun it's new chapter. The happily ever-after was orchestrated like one that you'd only expect and see in the silver screens. I'm not going to go into details but I'm extremely thankful I got to witness & be part of the process. (Good rehearsal for me, perhaps? hahahahaa. Now I know what to expect. :P)

Congratulations to Lowe & Shirley

That reminds me of a nice gift for them. It's the same gift I thought of giving Joanne when she made a request for Hans & me to perform the "Endless Love" or "Tong Hua in English+Mandarin Version". So, Posi-thieves return to sing with Jack for Wong Wai Keong & Shereen as well in this special version:

If you think that's funny, wait till you see the most intense taekwondo fight ever. It's like dancing to this song. Or maybe not this song. Maybe to "Moves like Jagger?" hahaha.

Parodies lately have taken a twist into a lot of things. Ever watch what the Nasi Lemak 2020 did to attack the Barisan Nasional Faction just to show how "great" the Opposition/Pakatan Regime is? Enjoy the following:

The trailer:

The 1.8 Million Facebook incident

周星驰帮1Malaysia站台！

星爷找Kaki参加BERSIH

Now, for the latest edition of their works... they did the Corrupt Affairs out of Infernal Affairs.

污奸盗-大马超级禁片 (Corrupt Affairs- BM subtitles)

So... how does the BN come back from all these? ONE video is all it is enough... ENJOY the LAUGHS from this:

Last but not least, speaking of parodies... if you've not seen the ALL NEW Volkswagen Passat Commercial, you oughta "FEEL THE FORCE"...

but since you're at it, you should see what goes behind the scenes of making this video and the bloopers to this parody... 

May the FORCE be with You. Later DAYz ya'all~!

Times have changed & so does our style of culture

Everyone has been busy lately, I guess. I've got all sorts of calls and people running around telling me "yeah, busy." or "Year end... busy, busy, busy". Ok, I'll just join into the trend and say, "don't know, I'm busy, I think?"

Most of the time, we get people telling us that they're on the way. It's a normal practice in Malaysia. Guess what's the best part of this culture?

Surprised? Guessed not. Some people will get pissed off from waiting for too long and they'd probably head to a different dimension and try something quirky.

This guy(s) went to the extend to inform the fast-food outlet:

So, the unthinkable happened.

Wonder if anyone would do such a thing here?

Then again, Malaysian fast food outlets make you pay before you even bite. So, die-die also need to wait till the cows come home.

Oh wait, just in case you need to go to the washroom, remember to bring some coins along. This toilet is unique. Here's why:

If you're pissed off by that, you can always try the Grand Slam of Thor.

And finally, if you can't sleep and try to be awake while reading this, maybe this will help:

Ritual held to enable Jobs to be reincarnated

I don't know if any of you read about this... it's just silly and funny. What's funny about it, you ask? Well, most of the people who attend the ritual has NO idea who the heck, Steve Jobs was. Would ya believe that? Hahahaha...

The Star Online > Nation

Tuesday October 18, 2011

Ritual held to enable Jobs to be reincarnated

OTHER NEWS & VIEWS
Compiled by NG SI HOOI, KAUCELIYA CHANDRASEKAR and A. RAMAN

ABOUT 40 people took part in a ritual in Pulau Jerejak, Penang, so that Apple founder Steve Jobs could be reincarnated.

Sin Chew Daily reported that Sunday's ceremony, which was organised by a medium from Rawang, Selangor, was criticised by the Federation of Taoist Associations Malaysia and several Buddhist associations, calling it “ridiculous and superstitious”.

The daily reported that most of the medium's followers did not know who Jobs was and many took part in the ceremony to enjoy a day trip to Penang and to pray for good fortune.

Iconic figure: Jobs may have died but his memory lives on for many people around the world. — EPA

Followers were asked to take a bite from an apple and observe three minutes of silence before throwing the fruit into the sea but some had finished half of the fruit before doing so as it was very sweet.

According to an earlier report, followers had to pay between RM50 and RM75 to take part in the ceremony.

The Weird World Around Us

Things have been happening lately like one of those phenomena you'd see on science fiction movies. This is rather true at a very strange period where such occurrence tend to make us think if God is messing around with us.

Here's a starter, people actually pack and run for their lives "neatly". Perhaps there was a steward or something that told them to vacate in an orderly manner.

I wouldn't be surprised at the rate it goes, like some mega sale is in town.

This is currently true with the Indonesians rioting in front of the Malaysian Embassy and having floods in Bangkok and other parts of Thailand too.

But here's something even better.

The DADs around the world would be extremely happy to wear this and make sure their daughters are safe from some teenage or college boys.

Happy Hunting, DADs.

I had the liberty of seeing Disney's UP in 3D when it started and I kinda like that cartoon which reminds us of some moral behind the story.

It's actually quite touching to say the least but its definitely a good production.

Any of you remember the kid from the Wilderness Scouting Program? Oh, that boy really does exist...
Check this out:

Cute, huh? Yeah, I thought so too... Sometimes they try to make something out of someone. Or, at least, there's always a little bit of resemblance in everyone. Maybe that's how the pattern of DNA works in our Genes.

Watched any good movies lately? Jackie Chan did his 100th Movie and it was not what I expected thought the History lesson was good. The synopsis for '1911' tells it all. It's something I gotta respect the production was kinda ambitious.

Another good one is Hugh Jackman doing 'Real Steel'. Damn, that was NICE. Oh, wait, it's SUPER NICE. Great graphics and the storyline is pretty exciting to accept.

Our tourist landmark in Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur to be exact) will also be hogging the spotlight soon when the motion picture "Petaling Street Warriors" hit the silver screens. In our Malaysian case, it's Golden Screens as in Golden Screen Cinemas to be precise. GSC will be screening this cool movie that's quite similar to the comedic one from Stephen Chow just like the "Kungfu Hustle".

Desperate Housewives was on TV again and that reminds me... Disney has their own version too. You won't be surprised:

Yup, that's all these WOMEN do... complain, nag & find flaws. Thank our lucky stars that our WOMEN don't do that. Well, not all, at least.

At least they are not as pathetic to the extend that they actually do this on their Facebook page:

Seriously? Really...

Oh yes, remember the beautiful twins I've written about back in 2009? They've gone famous and became a HIT! Janice & Sonia Lee is coming to town... 

Rock Corner has this message for the fans instead: "Dear fans, great news! There will be an autograph session with Jayesslee from 8-9pm on Friday, 21st October at the Rock Corner outlet, The Curve, Mutiara Damansara. The twins will only be signing on their exclusive official t-shirt, so, make sure you grab one! Please note that there will be NO meet and greet or autograph session on the concert day itself. So, make sure you make it to Rock Corner for your chance to meet Janice and Sonia personally!"

Last but not least. Remember earlier in this blog I said we had natural disasters happening every so often? I'm referring to the floods.

Animals can sense them too. And in this darkest hour and time of need, the animals help one another too.

I hope after that, the monkey don't try to do the same to this poor cat below.

Later dayz, ya'all

Tuesday Humor Remedies...

Oh it's Tuesday and some people around me are still soaring from the Monday Blues... I will have to share some laughters to recover from those boredom or over-worked stress. So, what's installed for today?

We'll start with a fairy tale. This wall post from Facebook caught me just well. Thanks Sandie:

I guess most of you knew that "wives" in the US tend to give hell to men. Me? I always think they made my life better. But, somehow it's really still a short fairy tale.

What about an iPhone conversation that deserves an award? Some guys can be a real sweet-talker. But they did say, Love IS Blind. So, don't feel offended but I do have to give credit to the guy for being creative in his answer.

Here's another good lesson to learn. Don't get f***ed if you can't take the procedure.

Speaking of thinking straight, here's one article for the mileage:

And a worthy advise from some woman to another:

They say we look from a different view, but I say, it's all up to the eyes of the beholder:

And lastly, they say, if you live by the rule and play by the rules; you can just get what you want when you twist the rules without breaking them.

and just for the record:

Have a good time and nice laugh. LATER DAYz

the F.U.C.K. word well explained [Courtesy of Julian Tan]

An abstract came onto Facebook awhile ago which should be shared for the knowledge of the General Public. The favorite word of Julian is well displayed and explained in such context and pretext with the proper intention and not to be misunderstood. I disclaim that this isn't anything offensive but just for the sole purpose of comedy, fun & unrelated. Other disclaimers apply.

So, before I share that with you, may I just say happy "FUCKing" before you get to hear the words "FUCK you".

>:)

And I Quote:

WELL EXPLAINED:

In ancient England people couldn't have sex prior to marriage without the King's permission. So if they wished to fornicate, they had to apply to the King, pay the necessary charges and fees and get a Card stating that they were permitted to have sex. That card was hung outside the door as a warning to others not to invade the privacy of a room.

The Card read " Fornication Under Consent of King" (in short , F.U.C.K )!!

Thus a new word was born and it went on to become probably the most used, abused and understood word in the whole world.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word, which just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (Mary fucked John) and intransitive (John was fucked by Mary).

It can be an action verb (John really gives

a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).

It can even be used as a conjunction (John is ugly, fuck, he's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck."

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1) Surprise -- "What the fuck are you doing here?"

2) Fraud -- "I got fucked by the car dealer."

3) Resignation -- "Oh, fuck it!"

4) Trouble -- "I guess I'm fucked now."

5) Aggression -- "FUCK YOU!"

6) Disgust -- "Fuck me."

7) Confusion -- "What the fuck...?"

8) Difficulty -- "I don't understand this fucking business!"

9) Despair -- "Fucked again...."

10) Pleasure -- "I fucking couldn't be happier."

11) Displeasure -- "What the fuck is going on here?"

12) Lost -- "Where the fuck are we?"

13) Disbelief -- "UN-FUCKING- BELIEVABLE! "

14) Retaliation -- "Up your fucking ass!"

15) Denial -- "I didn't fucking do it."

16) Perplexity -- "I know fuck-all about it."

17) Apathy -- "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

18) Greetings -- "How the fuck are ya?"

19) Suspicion -- "Who the fuck are you?"

20) Panic -- "Let's get the fuck out of here."

21) Directions -- "Fuck off."

22) Awe -- "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description -- "He's a fucking asshole."

It can be used to tell time -- "It's five fucking thirty."

It can be used in business -- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

It can be maternal -- "Motherfucker."

It can be political -- "Fuck Clinton!"

It may also have been used by many notable people throughout history at crucial times:

"What the fuck was that?" -- Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" -- General Custer

"That's not a real fucking gun, is it?" -- John Lennon

"Who's gonna fucking find out?" -- Richard Nixon

"Why the fuck did that apple hit me?" -- Issac Newton

"Heads are going to fucking roll." -- Marie Antoinette

"I could have used a fucking map." -- Ulysses

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" -- Captain of the Titanic

"Any fucking idiot could understand that." -- Albert Einstein

"It DOES SO fucking look like her!" -- Picasso

"Okay, I know... we'll build this BIG fucking wall to keep them out."

-- Emperor of the Ch'in Dynasty

"I can't believe I just fucking said that." -- Patrick Henry

"Fucking backstabbers! " -- Julius Caesar

"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" -- Michelangelo

"Fellatio is not fucking!" -- Bill Clinton

"Where is that fucking pizza guy?" -- Elvis

"Why? Because its fucking there!" -- Sir Edmund Hilary

"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" -- Joan of Arc

"Scattered fucking showers my ass." -- Noah

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." -- John F. Kennedy

"What are the fucking chances I'm going to heaven?" -- Adolf Hitler

"Hey, where the fuck are your turbans?" -- Christopher Columbus when he discovered the 'Indians'.

iPhone & the damn Auto Corrects

It's the early start of March and looks like a good day for Just For Laughs. Thus, I went searching around for good laugh materials to share again.

Ever had those moments where you hate your iPhone for the silly auto-corrections that they make? I've had numerous occasions and I'm sure many out there has theirs too.

Here's some good ones that might just light-up your day: