Chapter 23: How to Become a Better Lover

Have you ever been fully desired, loved and admired by another? Feels great, doesn't it. These are simple skills that are easy to learn and can be used immediately, whether you are intending to achieve sexual intimacy or simply offer gracious social admiration in any setting; here's how:


Steps:

1. Focus on your partner. The person to whom you intend to show affection must become your single point of attention. You will be a great lover if they feel they are the only person in the world when they are with you. That is the impression you are trying to make when you begin with focus.
2. Have some optimism. You must be upbeat when expressing your sentiments to them, whether about them personally, the situation or the condition of the world at large--be an uplifting presence that helps them see the better things around them, especially about themselves
3. Make sure to listen, see and feel how the other person is responding to your attention at every step--the object here is to find the correct tempo that the other person is capable of hearing, seeing and fully feeling your expressions of affection. This is about them, not about you having a stage and acting out--you are always seeking to understand their experience of you so you can again make it even better.
4. Show your enthusiasm. You must express optimistic sentiments with a passion that is infectious to them. Bring them a wave of positive emotions to carry them towards pleasures in themselves and the world around them and they will be yours forever.
5. Develop your humor. After having enjoyed passions of the moment and retired from your warm, mutual cocoon of focus it is very important to not offer judgment about such experience with any great seriousness--be light, be self-deprecating and be natural in your sense of humor about yourself, the other and life in general. This is the perfect tonic for Life as well.
6. Notice the small things. If you really love the one you're with, and you watch them closely enough, you'll come to realize that they have certain habits and ticks that you will come to adore. Most people only see these things after a long time in their relationships, but if you get a head start now, you will start acting more loving with your partner and feeling closer to him or her.

Tips:

• "Smile first, then ask..."*
• If you are not getting receptive progress then reflect upon your own intent and pacing of interaction with the other--are you rushing your attentions, not being intense enough in the moment or simply too casual to make an impression?
• If you can become a master of self-awareness, you can become a master of other-awareness...and vice versa: it's easy and fun to do.
• If you truly enjoy helping other people feel good about themselves you can become the greatest lover...and all others, in turn, will truly love you.

Warnings:

• If you try using these techniques to manipulate and harm other people you will experience greater suffering and self-loathing than you already do; but of course, this greater suffering could be what works best to shock you out of the petty existence you're imagining at the moment you try to manipulate and harm others.

Things You'll Need:

• a positive intent
• deliberate, methodical and focused effort
• an object of your affection (any mammalian species will do for practice)

A look back at Twenty Ten (2010)

First of all, Happy New Year! to everyone. I guess by now, technically, we've passed the International Date Line and it should be a New Year in every inch of this Planet.

Two Thousand and Ten (2010) has seen many odd things happening. So odd that I'm surprised the least expected of things would have happened to me or came into my life. Just to name a few, I can recall the time of April when the Volcanic Eruptions caused a great havoc across Europe and prompted me to decide that it was much safer for my team to come home via Nice instead of Paris. Else, it's gonna be 2 weeks stranded there.

There's also the time whereby I had to lead a group of 25 Women (yeah, you heard me. WOMEN) to Jakarta and Bandung in August. I missed out on the Group outing to Tanjung Malim and Ipoh as well. I had a great time in Melbourne this year. It was a good recovery there. My body was back to Top Shape after my return and it recharged me to work very hard for the upcoming days too.

Oh, I would never forget my 6 months experience in the Sukan Malaysia (SUKMA XIII, Melaka). Not to mention about the Golf Challenges, the places I've been with the team that created lots of memories. From Port Dickson to Johor and even Kuala Terrengganu and even as far as Nexus Karambunai at Kota Kinabalu. Heck, I even remember having a phone conversation with SC when she was barely sleeping in Langkawi. At that moment, I was having my foot reflexology along the water front, sitting on this nice BIG beach slide and the projection of BAD BOYS (staring Will Smith, of cos...) on to the Canopy Top. I can even remember it was on AXN! Not to mention the nice cocktail and ice cream to enjoy with.

Ah~! There's also the moment of the Soft Opening of Universal Studios, Singapore. Fantastic experience. Another good one was the Singapore Flyer. They even gave us a scoop of Ice Cream each. Marina Bay, Sands... another extra-ordinary experience. Couldn't imagine how we pulled through sitting on the same Roulette Table without going to the toilet or even eating for 12 hours! Ok, MADNESS aside... there's so many other memories to enjoy and cap for 2010.

I've known Xiang Zhin a.k.a. Sherlyn for more than a decade. We've only had time to sit down 4 times in our lives. Yeah, Once in every 2 yrs. The first 2 years was when I was still attached as a Senior Medical Officer and we had to communicate via mIRC. Poor us... After I left the Med world... we only had time (though we area usually staying near by or within the vicinity) once in every 2 years. To date, I've only had time to meet our friend Jolene like TWICE in my life. Geez... terrible me. Ok, it's not as bad as Sim Yee a.k.a. Denise. I've never had the chance to sit down for coffee with her yet either.

So, the point is... it's a blessing that Sherlyn and I could finally had dinner at Brussels. After 2 years from the last time she came up to me to ask for Sponsorship (it's like a 5 minute meet-up below my office at the reception!). Well, things change and life changes too. In fact, I gotta thank Sherlyn for introducing me to 2 nice iPhone apps called Whatsapp and Vonage. =)

Oh yes, what else should I be thankful for? It's the many blessings and love that Mummy & Daddy has showered me with for the duration of the year. Without their care and great heart, I would not have been here today. Thank you very much indeed for the both of you. You've both seen me through a lot of thick and thin this year. As I've had no family in Malaysia, you've made the warmth for me.

Other things to be grateful for is the other Editions of Langkawi International Maritime & Aerospace (LIMA'09), RLIR'10 - Royal Langkawi International Regatta, Le Tour de Langkawi (LTdL) and much more other exciting experiences. It was a great platform for me to do so many photo shots with my DSLR.

Speaking of that, I've had some great times to share as well. I remember the day itself. Genting with 21 barrels of laughters. Organized by Alex Tan and made possible by the Hike & Seek Committee. Many Likeminders turned up and created a great convoy. So, to this day, I've got so many people to thank for.

If I've got to give thanks, then I've to name a few for starters like Michelle has helped me put myself back on my feet when I was both emotionally and mentally dis-truded. SC has always been there for me when family was breaking loose and she knew I needed a clutch to stand back up and firm. Zoey has also made a foot print in my milestone. She helped a lot when our friends were in need. Wai Yi a.k.a. Alice Cheang had been so psychologically disturbed that helpful Zoey and Wan Ting helped mend things back for her. I could only help a bit by giving concern and be there supportively and creating ways. Zoey also tried to make the gathering possible but Sue May and Hoi Lee is just too busy to meet Wai Yi's schedule thus all 5 of us never sat down on the same table (to-date). I'd never forget Raymond and there's also others who path the way for 2010. There's Eric, Joey, Jane, Janice, Mayyee, Mien Yee, Tsu Ee and a lot more too. Even Kevin was entertaining. Ah, even Daniel too. I certainly won't be rude and exclude others but there's too many names. Ok, for short, Julian has made my food trial so much interesting. I even had to say thanks to people like Li Lian for sharing the interest of Photography. The rest that I've not mentioned, you're in my heart too. Doesn't mean I didn't remember you. Others are omitted (from being mentioned) to bestow peace in their lives and respect their privacy.

Special shout out to some brothers: B**n M**n (Hey, B***... Syndy is back to KL and Datuk Zaini still sends his regards. Miss hanging out with you. We've been partners in everything from work to badminton and all for 10yrs+ and counting... so, waiting for you to come back and have more fun.) Kit (bro, though we're not twins, we're almost there. I know you have no time lately but nothing will break our bond. Take care.) Jason Pinto (Jay bro... every moment we spend hanging out is like Diddy Dirty Money singing "Come Home"... it's so much joy and laughters that we share. From Movies to Concerts to Beers... GOD, if only teleportation was made possible by now. Distances shouldn't hold us away from being besties..) Jack (Ah... the ever infamous Jack, BC & Sons Credit Services Ltd. We can cling glasses all day long... let there be more of better days to come in the near future.) Hans (There is one thing that I have to be very proud of 2010. That's called Fate. I never knew my smallest of action, can bring about 2 people. And I'm always very happy to have you along side. From our Posi-thieves Concerts, to Pool, to *ok, we'll keep the rest as secrets* I'm always enjoying every second of it...)

Twenty-Ten (2010) isn't about just meeting New People and sharing great moments with old friends or doing exciting things. It's also about cherishing a lot of things. I got the chance to hug my grandmother on her birthday when I went back to Brunei. Something I didn't have much of a chance to do. In fact, I have not celebrated her birthday for 10yrs. It was made possible this very year with an addition of a member of a loved one. The entire family was explosive to have my return and everyone is so happy during that moment. I felt so happy. I also lost my Uncle who battled his Cancer for so many years. He pulled through so many expiration dates and miraculously survived 2 extra months. He is my mother's brother and he did not make me feel that way. I can even remember when he went all the way with me to Sabrina's house just to achieve my goal of retrieving back my Dignity and Pride. Well, that's 10yrs ago. Let there be Light. God's blessing for him now.

The Year of the Tiger also shared many other milestones. Achievements that I never expected. Tales were spoken and some were swept under the carpet. Chapters that were closed were like the Golden Horse and Red Bean. Interesting chapters came into my hands like LED Technology, Sports Management, Youth & Education in combination, Media Distribution and Broadcasting, GOLF (who would ever forget that???) and of course, my favorite passion - Music. Speaking of which, THANKS (special thanks, in fact) to Phoebe Yap for sharing a very special and short simple moment with me back in Brunei when we hosted a GREAT show.

There are many more like the upcoming 3rd KLIFF and other prologues but I'm gonna close this journal today with the biggest thank you of all. Thank You God for bringing a special Angel into my life. This Angel was a gift, blessed by my dearest sister Queenie, which is making my only Wish (in the process) of coming true. The Angel I have Heard on High, has brought on me now. I truly can say "Gloria in Excelsis Deo"